Now is the time when Brian and I have to ask ourselves some big questions. Liane, our social worker charged us with a few things to work on and think about:
*What are our preferences in a child?
*Do I want to breastfeed our adopted child?
*Who will we use as our pediatrician?
...the list went on, but I don't want to bore you with the details.
Brian and I are lucky that I (Marta) am such a freak that I really had a lot of those bases already covered, or at least researched them and given them some thought.
As for our unborn child, we willing accept what God has chosen for us. We will not discriminate against sex, a disability, or race. In our first conversation about race Brian and I thought, well race does not matter to us, we don't care if we raise an Asian, Black or Indian child. We will love them just the same. What were we thinking?.. Race does matter, and it should...love is not enough for a trans racial child. If we say race does not matter we ignore it, rather than celebrate it. I read an article and a specific quote hit me between the eyes, " Our "white privilege" is a social asset they share peripherally when with us, but can't own or take with them." Sondra S Corsy, M.D. Wow, how true is that. People of different races learn to navigate through society differently and do so based on their culture's expectations and the expectations of others outside their culture.
This is not to say people should not adopt trans racially, they should. Brian and I welcome a child of another race into our home along with its challenges. We realize that when you do you need to expand your social circle and knowledge of that culture.
As for breastfeeding our adopted child, I (Marta) plan to. Sorry if thats too much info. I always thought I might want to, and the more research I do on the subject I can't imagine not breastfeeding. For those of you not familiar with the concept, it is possible through lactation induction. I wont go into details but I will say, what a gift this is for my future child and I. Anyone curious about the details and process should feel free to ask me, I am happy to share.
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Fortitude
3 comments:
Marta,
First, congrats on expecting! Andi told me about your blog, so I came over to snoop. :)
I am a mother of two bio boys, and our beautiful daughter that started life in Ethiopia.
I did the pumping and breastfeeding up until I learned our daughter did not know how to suck. So, we quit to focus on teaching her to suck, and to get our 7 lb 4 month old healthy.
If you ever want to talk about raising a child of a different race, want help with getting milk ( I have meds you can have free!) or just want to chat about adoption, I would love to talk!
Blessings,
Tarah
Marta,
Tarah is on the board of directors for embRACE which is an educational support group for multiracial families in Idaho. She is pretty much the one soooo many families go to with questions regarding any type of adoption - even the people at one of the adoption agency's here in Boise call her with questions- since she is so great with research and is extremely knowledgeable. She is really easy to talk to as well - if you ever want to talk. Maybe when you are here we can introduce you to her beautiful family.
See you soon!
Andi
Marta and Brian,
Way to go! We are so happy for both of you. I loved that special time of breast feeding my bio babies; Chan & Brit. It was sad to me that my adopted babies (from foster care) missed that special bonding time with me. I am a bit jealous of you! Remember that "all" new moms and babies have a learning curve when starting out with breast feeding. Hang in there and it should become a natural part of your new parenting experience. I am loving following your adoption story it is a wonderful love story!
Linda Rathke and Gang
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